V.R.S. stands for Very Random Stuff - a new column where the two of us contributors will deal with things connected with games, but not games themselves. So here we go.
After the blasphemous trilogy of the So-Called-Resident-Evil-Movies-Starring-Milla-Jovovich two of which I vehemently decided not to watch EVARR (FallingStickman did and look at him now) Capcom apparently decided to take the matters into their own hands and released a movie which is what every movie based on a video game should be: CG. Yes, C-fucking-G. You know, like the Final Fantasy ones - a movie which doesn't involve any dumb actor pretending to be your favorite game character, taking your everlasting childhood love and devotion and wiping his ass with it in a process they call "artistic interpretation". In most cases the dumbwit won't even take time to play the actual game. Oh please, why should he? We're not talking about any art: it's a video game for heaven's sake - a safe picture. The writer writes a script, the producer produces, the director directs, the actor acts and voila, where's my paycheck? So what that the big bucks are wet with tears of gamers who went to the cinema, foolishly hoping that maybe this time, maybe this one time they wouldn't fuck this up. All is good, as long as they pay for the tickets.
Nowadays it seems, the whole goddamn movie industry seems to be focused on making adaptations and while everyone at Hollywood seemed to curse the hell out of Uwe Boll, THEY'RE ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THE GUY'S FOOTSTEPS, making one bad game-movie after another bad game-movie. The world seems to have forgotten about one very simple rule, which I believe was even written on one of Moses' stone tablets. DON'T MIX GAMES AND MOVIES. Don't. It's wrong. Nothing good can ever come out of it.
The only game-movie I consider a good one is Silent Hill, but that's because from the half-of-the-movie marker, the plot goes in an entirely different direction than the original - a more movie-plausible direction with more dialogues and less aimless running around. So it's not really an adaptation - it's an interpretation and as such, a well done movie. But then again, I know SH fans who hated it just the same.
Likewise, the only movie-game I somewhat enjoyed is Terminator 3 Redemption which was tepidly acceptable, but only because of the two previous Terminator 3 games, which were so god-awful the developers had to at least try and redeem themselves with a third one, in order not to get crucified by the fans of the franchise standing behind the window with torches in their hands. In fact Redemption would be a pretty nice game were it not for the movie elements: the shamelessly inserted bits of the actual movie, properly cut down and mixed with the CG cutscenes so they don't interfere with the stupidly altered timeline, some very poor levels standing out like lumps of dog-fertilizer in your Viva Pinata garden, constructed this way "because we have to make a level out of every second of the original", and of course, the absolutely outrageous voice-acting of Arnold Sch., who, of all people, was the only original cast member to take part in the game's production.
Maybe Godfather and Scarface games weren't all that bad either, but probably because the original hardcore fans of the movies are now either dead or too demented to care.
[evil grin]
Considering all of the above, I feel I have a statement to make:
We, the gamers of this world, have to take a lot of shit. We struggle with cheap-ass media, who call us dangerous psychotics ready to kill off all our friends, because we play GTA4. We struggle with game and console companies, who constantly abuse our trust and feed us garbage (RROD, glitches in Fallout3, Home... take your pick, I could go on with this forever). We struggle with ourselves, fearlessly defending the piece of hardware of our choice against the opposite team, day and night posting increasingly idiotic arguments on why Xbox in better than PS3 or why PS3 is better than Xbox (when of course Crysis owns all). So please, moviemaking people, give us a break. No one should be subjected to the Hitman logo, which to me personally is a kind of a religious symbol, being mercifully blasphemised by Timothy Olyphant's face right next to it. Note that I don't really hate the actual living Mr. Olyphant (you were da bomb in Die Hard 4, yo!) but for Christ's sake, why 47? Why him? Nor do I dislike Mark Wahlberg, but for Christ's sake, why Max? Nor do I and so on, and so on. See? Games + movies = no go.
...
Hell, what was I supposed to talk about? Oh, right.
Well, I must say that I've waited very long for this title. Not only CG, but Leon and Claire with their original voice-actors (which smells of my beloved RE2), G-virus (RE2 again) and a plot related to the actual game, with no reference to the So-Called-Resident-Evil-Movies-Starring-Milla-Jovovich whatsoever (the six triangles of Umbrella logo are not joined together and they have one side rounded). Finally, I thought, a proper Resident Evil big-screen debut: a movie for the fans. And, well, it is a movie for Resident Evil fans. For better and worse.
It's really hard to say something substantial about Degeneration without spoiling it, but I'll do my best and keep it brief. First of all, it's entirely Nippon-made, so forget about the traditional western movie plan. The action is a little jaggy, the flow of events is very rushed (basically it's like watching a flow of cutscenes with no game in between). The climax is not very significant and the emotional bits (including the ending) are just too cheezy. Plus the obligatory, predictable "it's not over yet" sequence at the very end. The dialogues are anything but natural and so is the voice acting. Just like in, you know, Resident Evil. I was prepared for that kind of thing, but it was surprisingly more difficult to accept it in a movie than in the games. That sickly-sweet Power Rangers cheezines made me wonder if it's not just a kids movie, but no, there's gore, some blood and many juicy explosions. Well, I sighed, it's just your standard Resident Evil cheeze. Just like in the game. But wait, there's more.
We have Leon and Claire, but most of the time they are separated (like in the game). Claire watches over a little girl (like in the game), and Leon watches over some woman (like in the game). We've got everything from RE2: an evil money-loving lollipop-stealing politician, a Wesker wannabe, a cop becoming a zombie, a Birkin rip-off, an enormous, sinister laboratory... (there's one person NOT from RE2 and that's that Angela woman - and probably for that sole reason, I didn't like her one bit). We've got all these elements, yet they don't seem well connected. I dunno, maybe it's just the badly written script... Maybe it's the lack of Mikami-san that is to blame. Maybe for this same reason, RE5 PLAYS like RE4 but doesn't FEEL like RE4.
I really can't tell you if I liked Degeneration. It's very well animated and it's nowhere near as painful to watch as the So-Called-You-Know. Still, the only way to like this movie is through sentiments and pleasant memories from 1998, when the Nippon cheeze was still fresh and edible. On its own, Degeneration is pretty hollow. Fans like me will enjoy it, at least to some extent, but it won't gain the Resident Evil franchise any new audience.
PS
Too bad Leon is now permanently Paul Mercier Solid Snake, instead of Paul Haddad first-day-on-the-job cop. In RE4 he sometimes sounded like the good old R.P.D. officer (there was Ashley to shout at), but now he's more 2D than you can imagine. Plus, the model reminds me more of RE0's Billy Coen than the actual RE2 or RE4 Leon. And it's saaad.....
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